Above: Build self esteem with crafts! We did this project above here,for Rosh HaShana, but it could be done anytime to send a basket full of wishes to friends and family!
Building and nurturing a child's self esteem is an often overlooked aspect of early childhood parenting, and yet it is so incredibly important! Studies have shown that self esteem can be established as early as 5 years old, according to the Washington Post, and parents as well as care givers play a very important rule in helping every child build the self-confidence that will serve them well for a lifetime.
With just a bit of forethought, there are many simple ways to help your child feel confident and proud, especially in their day-to-day activities, which in turn influences their future. Sounds a bit scary, namely the crucial role we play as parents, but regarding self confidence, at least, it is really isn't difficult, and might be simpler than you think. The first step is awareness, and the second step is implementation, which you can start today. Of course many of the tips are things you are quite likely already doing, but it is great to do them with awareness. You can do it, and you'll kick yourself later if you don't make an effort now, so lets keep on reading.
Give A Child Challenging Tasks
Providing a child with age-appropriate challenges is one way to boost your child’s self esteem. Something as simple as learning to ride a bike is one example, or mastering a particular age-appropriate playground activity. The key is to make sure the challenge is achievable for their age and abilities, given with support, and never criticism. Indeed, making a place for guilt in a relationship is considered by Psychology Today to be one of the quickest routes to destroying self-confidence – so, if your child fails the challenge, make sure your response is loving, rather than critical. In terms of making sure the challenge is fair, you should make it appropriate and doable for your child. To use the example of cycling once again, make sure your child has an appropriate bicycle for their height and weight, otherwise the challenge may indeed not be fair at all.
Praise A Child's Work And Actions, Not Them
Back in 2013, a study by the American Psychological Association came to an interesting conclusion regarding the delivery of praise. A study of schoolchildren in The Netherlands found that children who had been praised for their work with “you did a good job”, reported higher self-esteem than those who were complimented personally with “you’re great”. This became especially true when children failed certain tasks; the children who were complimented for their work didn’t take the criticism personally, and thus their self esteem was less effected. Always remember to talk about the good job your children are doing; compliment their work ethic and aptitude often, and remember the amazing parenting advice that for every criticism there needs to be ten compliments!
Always Be There For Your Children
While it’s clear that impersonal praise and fair challenges help build self-esteem and a healthy work ethic in kids, it’s also important to be approachable and truly present in your child's life. Kids need to talk about their thoughts and fears, rather than internalizing them, with someone they trust, in order to make sense of things that occur in their day to day lives. A supportive parent means, more often than not, a happy child, who at any age will always turn back to a loving mother and father despite difficult or troubing experiences.
As parents we need to remember that the way in which we interact with our children is truly important. We don't have to be perfect, but we do have to make sure to behave like mature adults most of the time! The desire to help your child build self-esteem, and then making small changes in the way you speak with them or the expecations you may have of them is the first step. Raising children is one of life's greatest gifts, and no one ever said it was easy, so wishing you lots of success, and who knows you may just end us raising yourself a bit as well!