Ever considered welcoming a foster child or children into your home? It can be truly such an amazing thing to do, though of course one has to be 100% prepared in every way. Deciding to care for a foster child and welcoming them as a new family member is a very emotional and significant life event primarily for the child, but for you as well of course. You must first ensure that you can welcome the child into a warm environment, so they will feel valued and loved from the very beginning.
As seemingly simple as it might seem to some, just think about how scary it might for the child to leave their life behind and start over with new carers who are strangers. That said, you can make things easier for everyone, and ease the adjustment period by planning ahead. Here is a list of effective tips that will help you start your journey as a foster parent on the right foot.
Gather All The Information
- The process of legally fostering a child is quite different from, for example, the process of how to adopt an adult. Therefore, do take the time to understand the whole procedure from A to Z before you make a decision.
- After looking into the legal aspects, are you still wondering how to foster a child? Or how you can make the whole process seamless?
- The first thing you need to do is talk to the social worker associated with the foster child's placement. You need to keep your family safe, while also ensuring a safe and happy home for the foster child. It is imperative that you try to find out as much as you can about the foster child’s background.
- Do consider if there any risks involved, and consult professionals that can help you asses the situation. Additionally, gather information such as the child’s routine, their medical conditions, and what food they like to eat.
- Work closely with the child’s social worker to gather all required information ahead of time, so that you will have any special food, medication etc. that the child might need.
Make Preparations For Their Arrival
- Make special preparations for the child's arrival, especially if they have no belongings of their own. Work directly with the social worker regarding when to bring the child's belongings to your home, as that may be a delicate issue.
- Be aware that you may need to take the child out to buy some clothes to last them at least the first week.
- You will also need to collect the proper school uniform for the child so they can blend in with their peers.
- Find out what their favorite toys or books might be, and help them to decorate their room with things that they enjoy and will make them feel at home.
Pay Attention To Body Language And Eye Contact
- Children, regardless of their age, want to be reassured whether they are distressed or in a stressful situation, and coming to your home might just be both!
- If you can, you should ask the social worker if it would be possible to talk to the previous foster parent or care giver of the child. This will help you get to know more about the child and help prevent any triggers that might cause the child to behave negatively or feel insecure.
- If you cannot find out all the details, just do your best. Show warmth while communicating with the child, talk in a soothing voice and allow them to, over time, to guide you as to how you can comfort them, be it in a physical or emotional way.
Show The Child Around The Place
- It is important for foster children to have their own room where they can sleep, study, or take time out for themselves. Don't forget the simple things like showing them where the nearest toilet is, where and how to take a shower, and how they can find you if they need you during the night if they are feeling unwell.
- If they are going to be with you for an extended period, allow them to add their own touches to the room. Perhaps you can help them make some crafts to decorate and personalize their space. That would be a nice way to get to know one another.
Handle Sensitive Information With Care
- You need to be able to have a private conversation with the person who brought the child.
- Children who live apart from their birth family are often sensitive about what information regarding their history is shared. You should only know the information that you need to keep yourself and your family safe.
Let Them Know That You Are There For Them
- Encourage the child to discuss any issues openly, but don't offer advice or try to fix the problem, just offer love. Keep in mind what they are going through and what must be going on in their minds. Reassure them that they are welcome in your family and you will do everything in your power to keep them safe and happy.
- Keep the conversations simple and don't expect them to remember everything. Let the child lead the conversation when it comes to talking about their birth family. Don't ask too many questions; only as much as they are comfortable sharing with you voluntarily.
Don't Go Overboard With The House Rules
- A child has a lot on their mind when moving to a new place. For the most part, if you give them time, foster children will eventually know what the house rules are and how they are expected to behave. You should tell your own children or other members of the house that the new child is not immediately expected to participate in the chores of the house.
- Let them know the rules of the house slowly, be patient when it comes to their contribution to the chores of the house, and acknowledge it whole-heartedly when they contribute.
Summing Up
Bringing a foster child into your home can be an exhilarating experience for both you and the child. But it also is a very sensitive process. You must make the child feel totally welcome so do follow the tips discussed above. Learn about the child as much as you can and when you open your heart to the child and the situation, and truly understand that there is no perfection, things will come much more easily.
At the end of the day, it is the start of a fulfilling new journey, and like anything with a great reward there will be ups and downs, but they are totally worth it! Wishing you all the very best!
