creative jewish mom

What To Do If Your Teen Is Struggling

Although teens don't usually have to worry about paying bills and pursuing a career, they can and often do experience age-related stress, which is of course quite different than the stress their parents might face. We must remember that peer pressure, school-related issues, even bullying and can become very overwhelming at times. The reality is, that without support, some teens can spiral down into a loop of mental health problems, which can affect the essence and quality of their lives. Parents of teens must be aware of their child's general mental health, and they need to look out for essential warning signs, in addition to learning how to help their teens. 

If you detect your teen is having challenges, you must first of all express your support and love without any judgement whatsoever, in order to open the channel of communication to help them steer through whatever is bothering them. As a parent and the primary caregiver, you will want to support them in order to help them!

Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg, as you can well imagine there are many different things that you can do to help your teen to deal with mental health issues. Lets learn about some of them.

Thank You Signs From The Heart And Teaching Kids To Give Thanks

Saying thank you and really meaning it is one of those little things that really makes a huge difference, not just for the receiver, but for the giver as well. In today's world where modernization has brought with it a feeling of entitlement, we have to work extra hard to teach our children (and ourselves) how to be considerate, caring and grateful!

In the Jewish tradition we give thanks the minute we open our eyes each morning, but that doesn't mean we know how to express thanks to those in their lives! "One can never say thank you enough", is my motto, and while this comes easily to some, I have noticed that for others it can for some mysterious reason actually be difficult! I do think that saying thank you can become a natural thing if one does it enough, so do encourage your children to write thank you notes, make signs, and of course phone calls as well to those who deserve a nice thank you for acts both large and small.

Now. let me take this opportunity to say a big thank you to my mother, "Bubby" for flying us across the world and making our yearly family get together possible! We are truly grateful, and hope we will have the opportunity to do it for many years to come.

The Content's Of A Seven Year Old's Pocket!

Do you have children that love to collect little bits of everything and store them in their pockets? This phenomenon seems to be more prevalent among boys than girls, and a quality that one might find in just one of several boys/children in a family! Given that I'm quite a collector myself, I'm secretly proud of my seven year old for finding interest in just about everything. On one day, as I was checking his pants before putting them in the laundry (a MUST, especially after one engine was ruined by a little piece of something that went in the laundry in someone's pocket) I found a particularly nice collection of little objects!

So I put everything in a bag to photograph when I had a moment, which only happened about a month later as I was cleaning the laundry counter for Passover. What was in his pocket on that day, sometime around Purim? Well, magic disappearing ink, vampire fangs, a stamp to use with an ink pad, an angry bird pencil topper, a striped eraser, a collection of bar codes, a stick from a lollipop, a plastic butterfly charm, some crumbs, and one metal cube, which is part of a game called in Hebrew "chamesh avanim" namely five rocks. (More on that another time!) 

In retrospect I'm so glad that I took the time to photograph this little collection, to have a good laugh in another ten years or so! So do take the time to not only celebrate your children's unique qualities, but record them in some way for posterity, even with just a simple photo as I've done here!

Homemade Cards From The Heart

There's nothing quite as sweet as homemade cards for any occasion, right? And encouraging kids to spend a little effort to express their feelings for another on an important day is certainly something every parent should do. I grew up making cards, and now I'm happy to say my kids have taken on the  family custom. My three youngest made these cards for a cousin on the occasion of her henna party (a Moroccan engagement party of sorts) a week before the wedding. The lovely one above was made by my almost ten year old daughter, with no help from me whatsoever, and I have to say I was quite impressed by her composition!

The card in the middle, made by my seven year old son depicts a pair of Shabbos candles, since lighting candles on Friday evening before sundown is one of the mitzvahs a young Jewish woman can observe when she marries. And the slightly more no-nonsense card on the left with combines the message and the design all in one was made by my slightly no-nonsense eight year old son.

And for those of you who read Hebrew, here are the sweet messages, from the heart.

Parental Musings: Drum Sets and Boys (and girls....)

Boys like drums. Some girls like drums. Many more boys like drums. Right? No one is offended right? It's just a fact of life, whether genetic or environmental or hormonal.  That said, I had a funny parenting moment last week that I thought I'd share with you.

I knew something was up when my eight year old son went outside to make a phone call to a neighbor. It turns out that the neighbor was willing to sell his mini slightly broken drum set to my son for a whopping 6 shekels, a steal given the full price was 80 shekels. (From my perspective their mother should pay us to take the drum set off their hands, but never mind.) So the neighbor brought his drum set over for a trial run, and then his younger brother, decided he'd like to get rid of his drum set too.....he's rather have a tiny tiny plastic smurf or something. So here we are in the kitchen with two sweet little boys banging the daylights out of these mini drum sets. 

It was so cute that I took photos and even a little movie. I asked my six year old "what are you doing?" His answer, are you ready for this? "I'm playing a motorcycle." Granted his English isn't the greatest, but I found it so interesting that he associates drums with motorcycles! And then it occurred to me that if this is the case, then certainly one should overcome the annoyance of say, drums, to help a child satisfy that inner desire for something a little out of control, such that when he (0r she) is older he won't choose to do things that will really have your heart in your throat. 

And the end of this little tale is that first of all the neighbors mother did not agree to the sale. And secondly my daughter reported that a friend's grandmother is buying her friend a drum."That's nice" I said. " But drums aren't for girls" said my daughter smirking. "Who says?" I said. "Oh, really? Well in that case I want one too!"  

My choice as a parent is to say yes to a little bit of drumming now, so that my children will hopefully in the future understand that choosing personal safety is just about one of the smartest things one can do. And for that I'm willing to go just a bit deaf. Please remind me of this if infact there are ever drums around here. Or maybe I'll maybe I'll just join them. Moms need to live a little on the wild side sometimes too.

Fostering Acts Of Human Kindness Through Crafting

Using our crafting abilities to do acts of human kindness is one of my favorite topics, so when I got a nice letter from a reader today with this photo, I just had to share the story with you.....plus I'm just so darn proud that I really couldn't help myself!

These sweet kids from New Jersey attend a Hebrew school program on Sundays, that includes crafting activities. One of the projects that they did for Rosh HaShana was to make New Year's cards for Jewish American soldiers, and guess what, they used my tutorial for the bubble wrap printed New Year's cards!

Isn't that just too sweet? Thanks so much to Leasa from Vineland, New Jersey for sharing this project with us! May it be an inspiration to us all to teach our children (and remind ourselves!) about the importance of doing small acts of human kindness, even through crafting!

Fostering Thoughtfulness: Little Gifts For Friends Back Home

Appreciation and gratefulness are certainly two of the most important traits that every parent should make great efforts to foster in their children. Certainly we have all come across adults who are lacking these, and it is truly sad —without appreciation and gratefulness a person cannot fully enjoy life or reach his potential in this world. Enough said.

On our recent trip to Amsterdam, a trip that most of my daughter's friends here will never have the opportunity to make themselves, I thought that it would be a nice gesture to remember those back home with a little souvenir from our travels. We bought many pairs of tiny ceramic dutch shoes, and my daughter wrapped them and made a cute little note for each of her friends in the neighborhood, wishing them a very happy new year. 

And speaking of a happy new year, wishing you a wonderful remainder of Succos! Today we will start preparing for the holiday of Simchat Torah, which starts tomorrow night in Israel, and Thursday night elsewhere. We will be leaving our Succahs (always sad for me!) and returning to our homes to celebrate the gift of the Torah, as well as marking the beginning of the yearly cycle of it's reading. All the best!

Child's First Oil Painting - The Rolling Hills Of Jerusalem

Today is the 17th of the Jewish month of Tammuz, and we are thinking about Jerusalem, Yerushalayim, our Holy City, whose ancient walls were breached on this day many many years ago. And yet, we remember this day each and every year, and I thought it was so very appropriate that my almost nine year old daughter's first oil painting, (a value study) that she brought home this week, reminds me so very much of the lovely rolling hills of Jerusalem!

While oil painting isn't generally taught to children of this age, my daughter's teacher realized that she is able to understand some of the painting theory (yippee!) that one needs to paint with oil, and so here we go!

I never studied painting (yet), so I'm excited that my daughter has the chance and seems to be loving it so far. Of course if she didn't love it, that would be fine too, the main thing is to present our children with the opportunity to develop skills and find activities that bring them joy. And then we're one step closer to helping our children lead balanced lives, and at the end of the day, balance really is the key to everything, right?

Fostering An Interest In Vegetables: Visit A "Vegetable Museum"!

Ever been to a grocery store that stocks over 35 kinds of apples from around the world?

Have you heard of white eggplant?

Do you know how to prepare taro root and Yucca?

Ever seen orange tomatoes, yellow and purple cauliflower, multicolored chard?

What about New Zealand horn melon? (Note to my readers from New Zealand: do you eat this?)

Let's face it, most of us, including myself, are really quite uninformed when it comes to all the amazing types of fruits and vegetables that are grown and eaten around the world. Fortunately for us, my mother finds things like this very interesting, and on our trip to Northern California this summer, she wanted to show her grandchildren the amazing selection of produce available at The Berkeley Bowl West, even though it was definitely out of our way.

So taking a pointer from my mother, I though I'd write about the idea of finding a local (or not so local) "vegetable museum" in your area and sparking some interest in your kids by introducing them to many things they've never dreamed of. You know, things that grow in the ground and on trees! Seems like a good way to encourage healthy eating, don't you think?

Lessons Learned In Revisiting My Childhood Stomping Grounds with My Own Kids!

I am the person that I am today as a result of many life experiences— and especially those which occurred before the age of 12 or so (as I've started to realize lately!) So I found it particularly interesting to visit some of the places we used to frequent when I was a child, but with my children. Their childhood in Israel has certainly been quite different than mine was in Northern California, but I'm happy to say that they loved all the same things I did! Here's a little peek, which may be helpful to some of my readers (nearly 25% who live in California!) and hopefully an interesting (and possibly humorous) break from crafting for the rest of you?

First stop is The Little Farm in Tilden Regional Park, still sweet and well maintained. A nice introduction to real live farm animals. Just make sure to go in the morning or early afternoon, as the animals are put to bed very early. Lesson: If going to bed early is good for farm animals, it's probably good for our kids too!

At The Little Farm your children can hone their goat feeding skills with celery and lettuce (only) that you bring from home. Very good skills to have as an adult as apparently this left a big impression on one of my brothers and he now owns some goats (and now my children and I want some too, yikes!) Lesson: If you don't want your kids to own farm animals when they grow up, so don't expose them to the joys of goat feeding.

After you've had your fill of farm animals, so why not take a fairly short nature hike to Jewel Lake, just down the road from The Little Farm. While you can walk down the road to the lake with a stroller, the more scenic hike around the lake is great for little kids, but not stroller friendly. I don't think I ever really knew why this little lake was called Jewel Lake until we paused here— look at those amazing reflections! My kids almost didn't understand what they were seeing it was so beautiful. I remember saying "doesn't it look just like a painting? Lesson: Take the time to point out to your children how nature often reflects art!

The next logical stop might be a trip to the Tilden Park Historical Merry Go Round. I grew up hearing the faint music from this merry go round on clear summer days.....The merry go round was built in 1911, and all the animals are original and restored beautifully. There's a fantastic selection of horses, a zebra, a frog, a dog, a lion, a stork and more. I do miss the original organ which has sadly been replaced by taped music, nonetheless, it's still wonderful. And yes, I don't usually show photos of my kids, but this one of my daughter was taken 6 years ago at the merry go round, and I just couldn't resist. Lesson: Teach your kids that if they take care of something it will last—these animals are nearly 100 years old, and because they were treasured, and well cared for, we can still enjoy them today!  And just in case you hadn't thought of this, if you're going to treat your kids to more than one ride (and why not?) have them take a break between rides and just enjoy watching the merry go round while trying to decide which animal they'd like to ride next.

Now if live animals are more interesting to your kids than wooden ones, or if you happen to have another day in Berkeley,  you might want to consider a visit to the Lawrence Hall of Science (very near one end of the sprawling Tilden Park) located on the UC Berkeley Campus. The museum and education center has a planetarium and all sorts of interesting things to look at, but we got caught up in the petting lab, so we really didn't get to see too much else! But that's okay, since holding a spotted gecko, an unusual Iguana and a Mexican garter (?) snake, and petting a tarantula and cuddling a dwarf rabbit was a great experience. I'm so proud of my kids for not being afraid or squeemish! Lesson: If you plan to take your kids to the Lawrence Hall of Science, first raise them in the country side so they won't be afraid to touch the animals!

When they kick you out of the museum at closing time (5pm, too early for us!) your kids can have fun climbing on the giant DNA model/play structure in front. There's also a nice fountain and a breathtaking view of the city of Berkeley and the San Francisco Bay. If you sit for a while you may witness the interesting phenomena of watching "the fog roll in" until there's no view left to see! Lesson: Bone up on your own basic science knowledge before taking your kids to a science museum. That way when they ask you "What's DNA?" you may have a chance at explaining it to them!