Parsha Parenting: Parshas Vayakhel

In today’s world of medical and psychological studies, fascinating insights abound to help us understand the nature of human beings. Studies, however, come and go so quickly, that it is rare that we actually apply the proofs that they offer into our everyday lives. Some years ago, several studies proved the importance of families sitting down and eating meals together. Alcoholism, drug abuse, family dysfunction can all be kept at bay the more often a family eats meals together. Books were written on the subject. Some parents got excited, and sat down with their children at meals throughout the week. As the years pass, the importance of this type of study eventually fades, teenagers grow and don’t eat at home, and we forget about our enthusiastic commitment of several years prior.

Shabbos is the day set aside in the Torah, as the eternal day of rest, rejuvenation and contemplation. The seven-day week followed throughout the world is related to the Bible’s seven days of Creation, with the seventh day being a day of holiness. On this day, G-d paused, observed and “rested” as it were from the act of creating. On Shabbos, we follow suit, in order to bask in the beauty and complexity of His Creation and to spiritually contemplate the Earth in its entirety. According to Jewish law, three meals are to be eaten on Shabbos, where the family is to sit together, speak words of deep thought and to stay away from less mundane subjects than during the week. We are to eat of the goodness that the world has to offer, and appreciate both the body and soul that each of us has been given. Shabbos was given to us as a perpetual opportunity to sit with those closest to us, our family, friends, as well as guests, lest they not have a family with whom to eat. It does not begin or end with a specific child or family problem. It is built into the system of the world, in that taking the time for eating, talking and thinking together, as one big family is very good for us.  It is built into the system of Jewish life, that spending this holy day together makes us content, serene, focused and happy as a people.

Whether we heed a good study or not, when observing the Sabbath, we protect our children from apathy, discontent, and detachment. It is a time that, when properly used, instills peace, thoughtfulness, love of creation, and appreciation of relationships. The Shabbos protects those who observe it in many more ways than one. We don’t need a study to prove that.

THIS WEEK:  Sit down with your family for a regular weekday meal as often as possible. Try to ignore the phone calls, or turn the phones off for that precious half hour. On the Sabbath make your meals extra special, and bring food for thought to the table.  Your children will remember these times fondly and base their own homes on this model.